Hi there kids,
My name is Wallffles the Irascible Kookaburra. Yes that’s my full name, what–you think I’m joking? I never joke about anything…ever. This is a job not a holiday.
I love Tim Tams, salted chocolates, v-neck tees, wool neutral-tone cardis, and Demis Roussos. I’m a Taurus and I enjoy the occasional Cuban cigar and pint of dark beer. I live just off Frankston-Flinders road in Melbourne, in a tree out back Frankston shoppo. I can sing, too…..but nobody wakes up early in the morning to buy pre-sale tickets to my shows.
My personal assistant is a somnolent and generally useless marsupial named Kowallybear. He still holds a grudge because they hired me first. I know it’s because he’d rather read hackneyed romance novellas with Fabio’s a** splattered across the cover than do any work.
You can find me tweeting through @TheWallnuts from time-to-time, and keeping a sharp eye on the nuts Night Shift. I also administer firm wing slaps to any nut acting out or to Wally when he insists upon shaking me from my branch at 3am to help him do an impromptu field recording of fornicating kangaroos or whatever the hell. Sample that and tell me it doesn’t make a hit.
I am also winsome and handsome and “adorkable” and whatever the hell else you crazy people say. I look great in profile. In fact I am so dynamic I don’t even need body paint…I am already variegated and colorful. …not like that pasty lank you people talk about all day.
Hope you all have fun here…or whatever. Watch for regular updates from the Wally-verse.
Cheers and all that fluff,